SEATTLE, WA — After spending several hours perfecting his “Party Tunez” playlist on Spotify, local software engineer Dave Porter had his party thrown into disarray when one of his guests boldly seized control of his artfully-constructed tracklist.

“This playlist was supposed to be a musical journey that would dictate the atmosphere of the party,” lamented the 28 year-old Seattle native from the corner of his living room, “not some cheap Wednesday night karaoke sing-along.”

Porter, who describes his taste in music as ‘eclectic’, was initially concerned about his playlist’s security when he saw co-worker Jessica Sheeran scrolling through his Spotify account. He naively dismissed her sinister intent as fleeting curiosity regarding upcoming tracks.

The playlist, which spans several decades of music history and features pop hits, crowd-pleasing classic rock ballads, and radio edits of rap songs, was compromised around midnight, “right when things were really ramping up,” bemoaned Porter.

“What is this shit?” shouted the inebriated Sheeran in reference to the 1970 funk classic ‘Hand Clapping Song’ by the Meters. “This is what my parents listen to!”

Moments later, fueled by a potent mixture of Pinnacle Vodka and nostalgia, Sheeran hijacked the Spotify playlist to blast Journey’s 1981 mega-hit ‘Don’t Stop Believin’. Sheeran, armed with a tenuous grasp of the lyrics and a lack of volume control, led the entire party in a rousing chorus of the frat anthem.

“If she had waited three more songs she would have seen that I had put Bon Jovi’s ‘Livin On A Prayer’ in the playlist specifically as a fun throwback song,” said the exasperated Porter. “God, nobody has any taste anymore.”

Porter watched and listened in horror as the party descended into musical pandemonium, featuring aimless forays into ‘90s pop hits from the likes of Britney Spears and N Sync, as well as novelty one-offs like ‘Barbie Girl’ by Aqua and ‘The Sign’ by Ace of Base.

“There’s no purpose, no storytelling, no thoughtful, poetic transitions between songs,” muttered the self-described music connoisseur while watching his guests enjoy themselves. “You can’t play ‘Get Low’ immediately followed by ‘Turn Down For What’! People are going to wear themselves out!”

As of press time, Porter was nursing a beer in the kitchen and arguing with a friend about the merits of prog rock while Sheeran and her friends had fun dancing to songs they enjoyed.