WASHINGTON DC — 9/11: Never Forget. Or did we?

A new report from the American Research Group reveals that an overwhelming majority of American citizens failed to recollect the terrorist attack on The Pentagon – the headquarters of the United States Department of Defense – during their 9/11 reflections, tributes, and ceremonies.

The report, which looked at 9/11 commemoration services nationwide, as well as news reports from media outlets, individual surveys, and group polling, concluded that a whopping 95% of US citizens had no plans – or any intention – to include the attack on The Pentagon as part of their day of mourning.

Jim Bowman, a lead researcher with the American Research Group, was surprised by the results. “Obviously The Pentagon wasn’t as severely impacted as the Twin Towers, but it’s a bit alarming to realize that so few people remember that a building with the sole purpose of defending the country was able to be rammed with an airplane.”

“I figured people would remember based simply on the sheer irony of it.”

At 9:45AM on September 11, 2001 – a full hour after a plane hit World Trade Center Tower 1 – American Airlines Flight 77 crashed into The Pentagon, again that is the headquarters of the United States Department of Defense, killing 125 military personnel and civilians along with the 64 passengers aboard the plane – a decidedly real event that went almost completely unrecognized this year.

“Our thoughts and prayers go out to all the victims of 9/11,” said nurse practitioner Debra Harris, neglecting to recall for even a moment the 189 verified deaths and countless injuries related to The Pentagon attack. “We will never forget the sacrifice they made for this country.”

The report also found that of the 55% of Americans who were able to conjure even the slightest memory of Flight 93 – the plane that crashed in Pennsylvania after passengers thwarted the terrorist hijacking – almost all persons polled admitted that the existence of the film United 93 was their only source of that knowledge.

A White House official responded to the report saying, “We, like millions of fellow Americans, will never forget this tragedy. Yep. We will never forget the collapse of the World Trade Center. Never. We have nothing to say about the events at The Pentagon or the collapse of World Trade Center Tower 7. Especially about Tower 7. So please go ahead and re-forget I mentioned that and remember to never forget the Twin Towers.”