BOULDER, CO —What began as a pleasant distraction from studying quickly devolved into a Kafkaesque nightmare for local nursing student Janet Hughes as she found herself hopelessly ensnared within the confines of an incessant group text message chain.

Hughes was unable to find a setting that would disable group messages

“Drinks tonight????” began the seemingly-innocuous text thread between Hughes and her self-described ‘besties’ Marissa Greene, Shannon Pierce, and Tara Rosenthal.

Rather than answering the straightforward question and solidifying plans, the women in the group elected to careen off-topic and launch into a series of non-sequiturs and inside jokes that would spawn over 200 text messages and nearly 350 emojis within the hour.

“Studying now but would love to get drinks later! Let’s say 8 at The Lodge!” replied Hughes in a futile attempt to bring the never-ending onslaught of messages to a rational conclusion.

The group message chain powered onward, averaging three responses per minute and consuming nearly twenty percent of Hughes’ phone battery per hour.

“Is there any way to leave this group??? My battery’s about to die and my phone keeps blowing up while trying to study,” appealed Hughes to the uninterrupted stream of increasingly-senseless chatter.

After lodging numerous passive-aggressive responses in an attempt to signal her dissatisfaction with the prolonged conversation, Hughes was freed from her bondage when the other group members started a new thread where they could openly discuss what a bitch Hughes was being.