Throw-Pillow Temporarily Promoted to Regular Pillow

DAVE’S LIVING ROOM — Citing its appealing texture, acceptable level of fluffiness, and close proximity to his sleep location, local drunk guy Brian Hartford promoted an everyday living room throw-pillow to the rigorous position of a regular pillow while crashing at his friend Dave’s house

Snowden Declines Antarctica’s Asylum Offer

SHEREMETYEVO INT’L AIRPORT, MOSCOW — NSA whistleblower Edward Snowden rejected the continent of Antarctica’s offer to shelter him from American prosecution, sources close to Snowden report. “I know that beggars can’t be choosers in a situation like this, but honestly did they think I would really