Socioeconomic Disparity Hampering “Boys’ Night Out” Plans
MANHATTAN, NY – Plans for an epic “boys’ night out” came to a screeching halt earlier this evening in light of an increasingly-unavoidable realization that each boy in the group belonged to a vastly different socioeconomic class. The group, who affectionately and unironically refer to themselves as “Da Boys”, were forced to go back to the drawing board in order to brainstorm a new plan that could accommodate each member’s disparate financial situation.
“I think we should stick to the original plan and go to the bar,” said Dennis Zackarian, the group’s tacit leader. “They’ve got that beer and a shot special that’s only like ten bucks.”
“And you don’t have to drink if you don’t want to.”
This idea was met with resistance due to the fact that drinking at the bar would require an Uber ride there and back, multiple drinks to reach an acceptable level of intoxication, and the potential for unanticipated expenses like a slice of Artichoke Pizza. All told, costs could balloon to well over one-hundred dollars per person if Da Boys were not careful.
“If we’re just gonna drink then why don’t we get a case of beer and just drink here at the apartment?” suggested Alex Taylor, a self-proclaimed “social media guru” who is currently unemployed. “We can get 30 PBRs for the price of one drink at the bar.”
“Plus, you can’t even talk to each other at the bar cuz it’s so loud. Why would I want to yell all night when we could hang out here and talk at a normal volume?”
Other members argued that Alex would feel differently if he were single since the bar is, “a necessary evil” in order to potentially hook up with someone. It was also noted to general acceptance that, “this is a boys’ night out. Not a boys’ night in”.
Although the socioeconomic divide loomed large over the negotiations, no one in the group could bring themselves to simply address the unassailable truth of the situation. Instead, each member opted to allow their insecurities and ego dictate the discourse.
“I don’t care what the rest of you losers do, but I’m going to the bar,” proclaimed Zackarian in an attempt to shame the lower class members of the group into falling in line.
At the risk of being labeled “lame”, Taylor introduced the idea that he, “was feeling pretty tired anyway” as a means to potentially opt out of the event without embarrassment.
No official consensus had been reached as of press time. However, previous “boys’ night out” episodes have typically ended with everyone secretly wishing that they would call off the once-sacred tradition in the future.