Trump Invokes Presidential Power of ‘Double-Take-Backsies’ After Russia Summit
WHITE HOUSE – Amid the back-pedaling from President Trump following his ill-advised meeting with Russian president Vladimir Putin in Helsinki, Sarah Huckabee Sanders has clarified that the president has officially invoked the rarely-used presidential power of “double-take-backsies” to explain his shifting statements.
Trump had initially sided with Putin over American intelligence agencies when it came to the issue of Russia’s cyber-warfare attack during the 2016 presidential election. He has since walked back that statement through the use of double-take-backsies and by crossing his fingers behind his back as he spoke.
“Look, President Trump confirmed that Putin never said ‘no double-take-backsies’ before their meeting, which means that the president has every right to use the power,” explained Sarah Huckabee Sanders at a press briefing this morning. “This is one of those examples of the president being a master tactician and negotiator.”
“And whether you were mad at the original statement or if you’re mad at his new, changed statement, keep in mind that the president still has one more take-back at his disposal under this policy.”
Double-take-backsies was first established after Alexander Hamilton, the Secretary of the Treasury, was killed in a duel with then Vice-President, Aaron Burr. Congress passed the law in an effort to reduce violence by allowing the president and members of the Cabinet to take back bold statements. Those who invoke double-take-backsies are also entitled to return to their original stance at any time in the future. Typically this occurs once public backlash dies down.
Trump has been using the double-take-backsies policy even before he became the president. He used the policy as a businessman in order to stiff the laborers who built his properties and to avoid paying back investors.
“For years I tried to get Trump to pay me back for the work I did on Trump Tower,” says Mick Trucassio, the owner of Hudson Bay Contractors. “Once I found out he had invoked double-take-backsies all I could do was sigh, snap my fingers, and say ‘shucks’.”
“He really got me good. But it does mean that he could still choose to pay me back in the future.”
Senate Majority Leader, Mitch McConnell, says that Congress is powerless to do anything in response to the president invoking double-take-backsies.
“If the Democrats would work with us then maybe we could get a veto majority to overturn the double-take-backsies,” said McConnell. “Sure Republicans have the majority in both houses of Congress, we have the presidency, we have the Supreme Court, we have the lower courts, and we have the entire backing of Russia, but at the end of the day it’s always going to be the Democrats’ fault when nothing gets accomplished.”
“If Trump wants to take back a statement, re-make the same statement, alter the statement, or completely contradict the statement, just remember that we as Republicans are completely powerless to do anything about it.”
Trump is the first president since Richard Nixon to formally invoke double-take-backsies. He is also the only president to exercise this power on a near daily basis. This policy has historically been met with scorn and derision since it’s a blatant sign of weakness. For instance, when Barack Obama changed his order at a restaurant Fox News covered the incident for 6 months and Republicans filed official impeachment proceedings.