EVANSTON, IL – Comparing it to a “war of attrition”, local grown ass man Tom Redding spent the first five hours of his Saturday morning holed up in his childhood bedroom waiting for his parents’ maid to leave the premises.

“It’s not that I’m scared of interacting with her,” Tom said unconvincingly. “It’s just that I don’t want to get in her way while she’s working.”

Redding, who is home for a week-long visit with his family, was caught off guard by the arrival of his parents’ housekeeper, Rosalie Hernandez, at 8:00AM this morning.

“I listened at the door for a few minutes to see if I could figure out who was here,” said Tom. “But the second I heard that vacuum turn on I knew I was screwed.”

Redding’s plan for avoiding contact with Hernandez involved keeping the bedroom lights off, watching YouTube videos on his phone with earbuds in, and tip-toeing around the room so that an unsuspecting outsider might believe that he was still peacefully sleeping in bed.

Redding, who desperately needs to pee, considered making a break for the bathroom during a prolonged vacuuming session. However, the uncertainty of the vacuuming duration and potential for discovery were too great.

“I mean, I don’t really care if she knows I’m awake or if she sees me,” explains Redding. “But I’ve already waited a few hours so I might as well just wait until she leaves.”

“At this point it would just be weird.”

Hernandez, who has been the Redding family housekeeper for 20 years and has watched Tom grow up since he was 10 years old, expressed disappointment at the grown ass man’s behavior.

“He’s an adult. What’s he doing sleeping until 1:00PM on a Saturday? I don’t know about this generation.”