Loose Coalition of Crumbs Masquerading As Granola Bar

ALLISON’S KITCHEN – A loose coalition of crumbs – comprised mostly of rolled oats and a smattering of chocolate chips – converged this morning in an attempt to pass themselves off as one singular granola bar, according to eye witness reports.

The coarse crumbs, which do not have any natural adhesive qualities, believed that a thin bottom layer of melted chocolate would allow them to coalesce into one properly-defined, convenient breakfast bar format.

They were mistaken.

Allison Hallard discovered the charade when she attempted to grab a quick bite to eat before heading to work.

“I was expecting to open the foil wrapper and have a bunch of crumbs fall onto the floor like usual,” she explained. “But instead the crumbs were all pressed together into a long rectangle.”

“I thought I grabbed the wrong thing.”

Although the crumbs managed to hold their shape for a few moments, the structure was not able to survive the journey from Allison’s hand to her mouth.

“I’ve never seen anything like it,” said Allison. “But the second I tried to take a bite out of it the whole thing fell apart.”

“I wish I had gotten a picture of it because no one is going to believe me.”

There’s no word yet on whether the crumbs will try to convene for a second attempt, but if history is any indication then it will be a long road before the movement is able to take any real shape.