Drobchev was unable to call for directions since he only had a burner phone without any contacts in the address book

PORT JERSEY, NJ — Glancing anxiously down at his phone’s GPS every few seconds, mobster Nikolai Drobchev aimlessly circled the Port Jersey docks in a futile attempt to locate the predetermined meeting place for a hostage exchange.

“It’s gotta be right around here somewhere,” mumbled the disgruntled criminal as he peered through his black SUV’s tinted windows. “Why couldn’t they just drop a pin in the spot for me?”

Drobchev had been planning on a quiet night in when he received the minimally-descriptive text message ‘The docks. Midnight.’ Trusting his ability to appropriately navigate the two-mile long shipyard, Drobchev grabbed his 9 millimeter pistol and changed into a red tracksuit before departing for the clandestine destination.

“Maybe I’m the first one here,” wondered the Russian ex-pat aloud as he turned down another dead end in the labyrinthine network of metal containers. “If that’s the case then it makes sense that I wouldn’t see anyone else’s car.”

“But Alexi is always here before me so that can’t be right.”

Drobchev thought he saw some suspicious activity at the end of a row of cargo containers, but it was only a drug deal between Mexican cartels and not the high-stakes hostage exchange he was seeking.

“The boss was pissed when I went to the wrong abandoned rooftop in Newark for our last business meeting,” sighed Drobchev as he nervously checked the time. “Why don’t we meet at Starbucks like everyone else?”

“Or at least give me a specific dock number for Christ’s sake.”

As of press time Drobchev was idling near the entrance of Port Jersey while the hostage exchange was getting broken up by a masked vigilante at Newark Port several miles down the road.